I was reading this guest blog on Angry Asian Man’s blog and it struck me (not a surprise, I’ve known this for a very long time) that I’m a TPO. A Tragic Perfectionist Overachiever. The main point of Jenny Yang’s blog is to give some advice on how to stop being this person. How to relax. How to not have a panic attack caused by a blog reminding you of all the stuff you need to do to hang onto your TPO status.
Apparently I am not as enlightened as Jenny Yang.
This breakdown she talks about between 25 and 30? I feel it coming. Soon I’m not going to be “the young one” and soon I’m not going to be the future, I’m going to be the past. I realize that its not coming that soon, but as a TPO, I have a lot I want to accomplish. A lot I had hoped for. A life plan which was ahead of schedule until about 2 years ago and then suddenly fell very behind schedule and with each successive year continues falling behind instead of moving forward.
Damn this economy.
One of the things I really tried to work on when Christian and I went to Hawai’i was focusing on the now. Not worrying about all the shit I have to do when I get home, and not over-scheduling us on vacation. Ask Christian. I’m a classic over-scheduler. Not as bad as some friends I have, but that’s only because I’ve been burned so many times for over-scheduling. Christian and I almost never had a first “hangout” because I was so classically over scheduled.
I kind of did an okay job. We did a lot of sight seeing, but I didn’t have anything set in stone and I kept telling us (myself) that we can always come back. We can always take that tour of the Na Pali coastline during the next trip to Kauai. Our Hawaiian Miles aren’t going anywhere and its not like I won’t always know someone in the islands as an excuse to visit. So, I relaxed. A little. And then we got on the plane to get home and it all came crashing back.
I should probably take some of Jenny’s advice to heart. Some days I feel the TPO inside of me getting frustrated for not doing more. And then the normal person who does exist somewhere gets mad at the TPO for stressing me out. Eventually one of them is going to win, and since I’m trying to nurture normal more and more, I hope that normal will win. And hopefully before I’m 30 and happy and loving my life.